I woke up in the tent and got to writing right away, I did get distracted by social media periodically. I did put a post about my thoughts going back to my 8/23/2024 writings:
“I’ve thought a lot while alone in nature. Actually You’re never alone in nature. You’re always surrounded by life. People are more alone when they’re by themselves in a room, apartment, house, etc…. While sitting in nature it’s as if you’re looking into a mirror that eventually opens up into an abyss. Within that abyss you’re confronted with a choice: either conform to nature and find peace or burnout trying to outshine your Creator.
Human beings have had a rough evolution in the world. About 70,000 years ago we were almost wiped out completely by a natural catastrophe that destroyed much life on this planet. They say somewhere between a few thousand to possibly 30,000 people could have survived. This is called a genetic bottleneck and we are all descendants of the cunning, resourceful, and resilient people that survived. We are keenly adept at surviving the harshest of conditions, which makes us even better at thriving in good conditions.
Years back I wondered why nature would allow for a being so fundamentally powerful and destructive to thrive and proliferate the earth. Ecosystems are very delicate and fragile, we offset the equation. The only idea I could come up with is that people don’t exist solely for their own pleasure, they are seeds. The lifeform that brings life to celestial bodies. To travel to new planets, asteroids, solar systems, galaxies, ad-infinitum….. I would think if life developed on other planets or places in the universe, evolution would take on a similar trajectory.
From the basest evil to the highest good as far as life is concerned, since that is all we know because we can see through no other lense, all possibilities exist at the same time in a conscious superposition. That is the beauty of the human mind and the human experience. If we open ourselves up to new thinking and experience we can travel almost anywhere in our mind, which will eventually become manifest in the material world.”
Below is writing from the 23rd of August. Conceived while battling some of the darker aspects of humanity and my own nature:
8/23/2024
6:00 a.m. I woke up in the tent. I still have a splitting headache. I feel weak and I have no motivation. It’s almost as if I just want to pass away.
7:30 a.m. I’m starting to feel a little bit better. The headache seems to be slowly going away. I still have low motivation, but I am going to start writing. Really just one month left of this homeless experience. I’m thinking about all the homeless people in Massachusetts. I think the estimate that I read online was nearly 20,000 people in Massachusetts are homeless. How is our state going to allow thousands of illegal immigrants or what they call refugees into the state when we already have American citizens homeless. We’ve all seen homeless people, and I think a lot of times we overlook their situation. We think that their circumstances are a result of poor decision making. Knowing what I know now, this is not the case. People are homeless in Massachusetts and the rest of the United States because of a widespread human rights crisis. Our politics and our social systems have failed everybody.
A message from a friend and my response:
My friend
“Wow! How do you feel overall? I cannot even imagine this process and experience. I look forward to your final publication and learning about how much you have grown and will be able to expose the deep need for help.”
Me
“I was looking at the bugs the other day on my tent. I realized that bugs are well adapted to nature. They have everything they need, food, shelter, and they live their lifespan and reproduce. Their psychological debt is very small. Human beings are no longer adapted to live in nature. People that are homeless and are living outside, unless they have the equipment they need to be comfortable, are worse off than bugs. They may have food but they do not have adequate shelter or comfort. Human beings are the most cerebral of All creatures. Or at least one of the most cerebral. I think the smarter an animal becomes the crueler it becomes. We people like to think that we are good, we are not. There is enough resources and money in the world to alleviate the suffering of all people. I firmly believe that this will never happen. We can’t even do it in Massachusetts. Human beings are the great deceivers. We can create magnificent technology, and even that just becomes a medium for deception. Since human beings are now the Apex of all animals, all that’s left for us to do is continue to reproduce and deceive ourselves and each other.
The silver lining is that all people possess the ability to understand that in our nature we are destructive and deceptive and it is my mission to tell the truth. This truth is so absolute that everything I’ve just said also applies to myself. I’ve accepted that and hopefully I live long enough to overcome the base and corrupt nature of my own mind.”
9/13/2024
I stayed at the camp and in the tent all day. I guess in a sense I could reach out to people to see if they would offer me shelter. I’ve just learned how to survive outside on my own so well that it’s a bit humiliating and I don’t like asking for favors cuz then I feel like I owe favors. I understand how a homeless person out of dignity or pride would suffer silently without asking for help. This is why Outreach is so important