I woke up at my girlfriend’s apartment at 7:00 a.m. My girlfriend was going to work so I decided to leave for the day.
I have no plans. I’ve had a hankering for Augusta’s chicken bites in billerica so I went there and got a 10-piece.
After that I found a nice wooded area in Concord near the river. I went there and I rode my bike around and I wrote about my recovery in The recovery Facebook group that I run called Northshore Boston Recovery:
“Someone posted in here about not wanting to identify as an addict as is routine practice in 12 step modality. I’ve been hearing many different outlooks on this for years. This is my thought, feel free to share yours. No right or wrong answer:
Recovery and 12 step meetings were a place and way for me to find community and sanctuary while readjusting to a new life. When I first engaged with 12 step meetings. I had been abstinent nearly a decade of my own efforts. I personally didn’t like saying I am an addict or alcoholic. I actually never suffered from alcoholism. I was addicted to opiates, I know even now I love the effect of opiates, so I abstain from them. I have no craving for the drug although I am aware of my susceptibility to become addicted to it.
Through my own development, understanding, and years free from addictive behavior I have dropped the idea of being an addict now. I have also dropped the idea of being in recovery. If addiction is no longer a problem for me, then why am I recovering? I have recovered. I got other shit to work on
The identifying with the problem is a part of the 12 steps program. It is effective in the sense that it forces a person to accept there is a problem. Addiction is a very destructive problem indeed, and the denial of it, prolongs it.
I know many people like myself who have healed from their addictions. They are quiet about it, and live in a world of work, family, and everyday life shit. They think nothing of their past addictions. It no longer affects them.
Sure could an addiction resurface? Yes. Is work needed to heal from addiction? Yes. Can everyone just heal from addiction? From what I’ve seen, no. Are all addictions the same? No.
Truth is everyone is different and will find what works best for themselves. Almost always with the help of others of course. The problem is when the helpers through ignorance, self-centeredness, dominance, or cruelty do more harm to the recovering addict or alcoholic than good. These types of people are sick, and they continue their pattern of hurting others. Pray for them 🙏”
After I spent some time in the woods I went to a pub in Concord and I had a couple blueberry ales and a bowl of clam chowder. A friend of mine from the Karen Reed movement sent a picture of me and the upcoming 20/20 episode on Karen Read.
My girlfriend called me and said she was heading back to her apartment. I paid my tab at the restaurant and I headed back to her apartment. While I was driving the addiction medicine company recruiter called me and told me that they still hadn’t made a decision on my employment. I let her know that I could not wait much longer. I have a job offer on the table for less money, but a very rewarding job.
I arrived at my girlfriend’s apartment and we spent some time talking. Eventually we settled in and watched some shows and I slept there that night.