Why do people toil day and night to maintain the lifestyles they have, or to improve their circumstances in life? A lot of people talk about material gain. In as much as it provides more security, more comfort, more freedom, more quality, and more pleasure in life. After living homeless and seeing hundreds of homeless people and how they live.
I’ve begun to question the human quest for gain. I do believe that there are some people that crave more material gain for the sake of just having more material wealth. I do not believe that the majority of people who seek after material gain are more interested in the wealth they acquire, than they are interested in the impact their gain has on the relationships of their life.
The idea came to me that at the base of people’s inclination to gain more and accomplish more in life, is highly motivated by relationships. First and foremost all human beings from the time of birth until their death are dependent on relationships. Relationships can be secure, or insecure. I’m beginning to learn and see in our society, due to overwhelming influence from the people around us and the information we take in from multiple media-based sources, that the human idea of self-value and accomplishment has gotten morphed into something that most people don’t even understand. On a surface level people work and behave in a way that seems conducive to personal and communal happiness in the sense that power is built. With the power and security that comes out of material wealth and personal gain, people feel that they will gain the respect and admiration of others, especially those closest to them.
To provide rather than be provided for is a feeling of self-assurance. With the homeless people that I have engaged with I have noticed that they create bonds with each other, oftentimes out of shared experience, need for connection, or necessity. These bonds oftentimes do not last long. I have met homeless couples and friends that seem to create really strong bonds. They form a deep love for each other in their shared experience or it is a bond that existed before their homelessness. I see the authenticity in that connection. When a person lives destitute on the fringes of society it’s as if the mask melts away and in their connection their vulnerability is laid bare.
When I see people that fit nicely into the mold of modern society I see people that wear various masks. They apply constant effort to maintain and manage the varying relationships and responsibilities of their lives so that they can achieve their goals without losing the connection and respect of all the people they interact with. How real is this self-imposed social expectation? If you’re reading this you are a person, most likely, who wears various masks to maintain the relationships in your life and your status in society. This behavior is understandable, and it is admirable in the sense that it protects others as well as yourself from unpleasant social experiences. But how necessary is it? How much do we have to perform to keep our place in the social hierarchy? Is there a way for people, the chameleons of the mammal world, to lay bare their true mind in the presence of their fellows, without worrying about judgment or reprisal? How much do people actually understand the nature of their mind to reveal it?
I speak these words because I understand the impact of human relationships, and societal influence on the human mind. I question my own operation and existence regularly. I’ve learned about the importance and flaws of human behavior as well as the underlying mechanisms that influence the thinking and doings of people. Why do you behave the way you do, what is at the base of your relationships that causes you to think and behave the way you do? Are the rewards worth the effort that goes into being who You are, regardless of whether that’s a shadow of your true self, or the best representation of your deepest authentic self? Investigate your relationships and see how your behavior changes depending on who is in front of you.
After all, we are the company we keep.
My girlfriend and I slept in. I’ve been processing all the interactions I’ve been having with people in the streets at work and in my travels. In my own life and for the homeless people I’ve met, I’ve learned that the common denominator is human relationships. When it comes to substance use disorder, it is the relationship with the drug that keeps people down. Addiction is as close to a human relationship as the relationship a lonely old woman has with her dog or cat. We have an unprecedented crisis in the quality of relationships in our society more than anything. Homelessness, addiction, suicide, widespread mental illness are just symptoms.
I visited my mom and spent the night with my girlfriend. Tomorrow I will be speaking with my manager, the director of the shelter, to find out what will happen with my job. I stand by my conviction to never work alongside Ezekiel.
I am happy to have so many quality relationships in my life to cushion my struggles, and envelope me in options, opportunities and love.