5:30 a.m. I slept a lot, and I woke up in my tent. It was freezing cold out. I’m slow to get up. I’m still sore. I did make a video, I was convinced that my relationship was over.
7:00 a.m. I arrived at work. My outreach partner is taking the day off. This is fine because I have a few appointments that I had set up with local providers. I’m learning the area and I’m learning who does what, so I can direct our clients to resources that will be important in improving their situation.
11:30 a.m. after I attend a weekly hub meeting with multiple providers, I visit the local recovery center, I talk to the people that work there and figure out ways that we can work together. I leave the recovery center and I stop by a local food and meal provider for the homeless and have lunch. I talk to some of the people there while I eat my lunch. I also see a gentleman, a worker that I’ve been trying to connect with, who has not been returning my communications. I recognize him but he does not recognize me since I’m eating with the people.
12:30 p.m. My girlfriend had emailed me and apologized. I accepted cuz I love her and I enjoy spending time with her. The relationship we have is truly valuable to me. I feel that we can work through our difficulties and differences over time and grow closer together. When I am overwhelmed, and a person is causing me emotional stress, my first instinct is to run away. I have so many healthy relationships, that it is hard for me to navigate relationships that fluctuate from happy and healthy to stressful and conflict driven. But I am willing to work towards a goal of overall health in the relationship with my girlfriend, there are too many good points.
1:00 p.m. I stopped by another program, which helps people that are justice involved or those reentering society after incarceration. I learn of all the different services they provide and make a wonderful connection with a person that is kind and well-informed.
3:30 p.m. I drove to my friend’s apartment in Danvers. I’ve decided to spend another night inside, I feel over tired, and my body is still sore from the weekend’s moving extravaganza. I spent the rest of the evening working on writing. My girlfriend and I have a conversation and we’re able to start working through some of our troubles. Once again I’m a sleep early around 8:30 p.m. I don’t even know what I do with all the time. I do not feel proactive as if I want to do a bunch of things, I’m struggling to just manage the things that I need to do right now in my life. I have high aspirations, but I am slow to accomplish the things I want to accomplish. I do not know if there is a word for that, besides low motivation, or maybe a little bit of depression. I hold a space in my mind to continue going and continue trying to balance my life being homeless. It’s embarrassing because I only have a few outfits. My stuff is all dispersed between my vehicles. I want to find balance with this juggling act, yeah a part of myself is falling apart. I do feel confident that I can reclaim my life and flourish as a homeless man. If I can do this, I am confident I can live happily as a homed human in our messed up society.