I finally fell asleep after 3:30 am and woke up around 6:30 a.m. I texted my girlfriend to let her know I survived the night. The snapping and breaking of dead branches last night terrified me. I went back asleep for a couple hours and woke back up for good around 8:30 am. I’ve never been so unnerved in the forest, and wonder what the value is in experiencing fear and confronting it.
At 10:30 am I got my stuff together to head out to get lunch at the 1269 cafe homeless meal provider. When I arrived at the cafe there were a few people hanging outside. There’s an awning that covers the entrance so there’s shade. I sat there with one other gentleman, and a couple other people came and went or were standing nearby. It was about 11:30 and the cafe opens at around noon to serve lunch. At noon on-the-dot a man came outside with a bowl of food and said that they’re serving inside. I went inside and I sat at the closest table to the door, because it was available and it seemed that there were people at all the other tables. The cafe only allows people to sit two to a table. They serve you here, a young gentleman came by and poured me some coffee with sugar and creamer. I asked him why they call this place the 1269 Cafe which he did not know. I sat keeping myself occupied by looking into any developments in the Karen Read case. I read a new motion that was put out by her new defense lawyer, Martin Weinberg. It highlighted the constitutionality of double jeopardy, considering that information came out that the jury was unanimous to acquit on counts one and three, those counts were murder in the second degree, and leaving the scene of an accident. Charge 2 was a manslaughter charge that had a bunch of other lesser charges bundled in.
Soon my food came, so I put my phone down and I began to eat. While I was eating, a couple of women sitting at two tables across from me began to yell at each other, argue, and get into a verbal altercation. It got pretty heated, One woman threatened to punch the other woman in her head. They exchanged a lot of expletives, and some pretty foul insults. Staff came to try to calm things down. And another homeless girl inserted herself into the situation by offering one of the women to take her seat. She would move so the arguing women are no longer right across from each other.
Eventually the argument died down. An older gentleman came and sat with one of the women at the table and he spoke with her and I could see that she was crying. I began to think about how closely related fear, aggression, and sadness are on the emotional scale.
Once I was finished eating, I got up to use the bathroom. I asked a nice gentleman where the restroom was. He pointed it out right in front of me. He wouldn’t let me take my backpack in the bathroom, so I asked him if he could just make sure nobody steals it. He said he would do that for me. I went and used the bathroom and I noticed some pretty interesting graffiti on the wall which I took pictures of.
I left the 1269 Cafe and I rode over to the local recovery center Hope for recovery. They were really nice at Hope for Recovery and it was a beautiful center. I took some time to work on writing and other documentation tasks such as uploading videos and working on blogs. I spoke with a guy at the front desk and I asked him about the different services in New Hampshire. He told me at the welfare office you can get food stamps, access to food banks, Housing assistance and other services. I didn’t know much about New Hampshire. I didn’t know that all these services existed here.
While I was working a man sat down next to me and told me he was a recovery coach. He told me he had just spent 20 years in prison. For what I don’t know and I didn’t ask. I told him I’d been traveling around homeless from City to City to see what it’s like and experience the atmosphere. He was a really nice guy. He introduced me to another man named Lincoln.
Lincoln had been off-and-on homeless for years. He preferred to live outside, he had stopped using drugs, and told me that his drug of choice was coffee. He just got a phone and he said that he was working on accessing other services. He was a really nice guy as well.
At around 3:30 I left the New Hope Recovery Center and I decided to take a bike ride down the bike trail that goes to Hannaford’s so I can grab a small bite to eat and something to drink for the evening. The bike route to Hannafords, also takes me down the bike path, where quite a few homeless people live, I’d seen them the day before. While I was entering the bike trail I passed a man that I could tell was most likely homeless. His hair was long, he was very skinny You could tell he’d been in the sun his fingers were very dirty. I rode past him but then I sat down on a bench and waited for him to approach. He was nice to me, I figured he’d ask for something which he did. He asked for 50 cents. I asked him what he wanted and he said that he wanted a brisk iced tea. I told him I would take him to the store if he wanted to get something to drink. As we were walking I told him that I’ve been traveling around Massachusetts homeless. He said that sucks, I said why. He said I wouldn’t want to know what it’s like to be homeless in Massachusetts. I said well there’s a lot of services in Massachusetts, and I’m learning there are a lot of services here. The man’s name was Andy. We stopped at a gas station convenience store and I bought him two risk iced teas and two packs of L&M 100 menthols. Cost me about 20 bucks. I asked Andy if he wanted to tell me his story and he said maybe another time. I said well if I see you then we can talk then. I asked him if he was a substance user, and he said well since you asked, it’s always good to tell the truth. Andy told me that he smokes crack and either smokes or sniffs heroin, which I informed him is now just pretty much fentanyl. Andy was a very nice man, very kind-hearted. He went on his way down the street and I headed back to the bike path.
When I arrived at Hannaford’s I got a couple small seafood salad rolls and another 24 oz redd’s wicked black cherry cider. I ate the two seafood salad rolls on the bench outside of Hannaford’s, and I put the 24 oz can in my backpack.
I’d been thinking about the cracking of the dead branches at night, and it occurred to me that it could be from the heat in the day and the cooling in the night. If it’s 90 plus degrees during the day and then it drops down to 70 or below at night that’s a 20 something temperature change which would cause extreme expansion during the day and contracting at night of the Deadwood. I thought to myself about all my superstition and fear, when in actuality there’s probably a good physics-based explanation. So that’s what I came up with.
I rode back down The bike path past nutts pond. There’s a good number of homeless people that live off of this bike path. I can tell that they’re probably heavy substance users. There was a couple screaming at each other. In one picnic area people were passed out laying on blankets on the ground. I passed another encampment where everybody was just sleeping on the ground around the tent. I’ve noticed a lot of homeless people in Manchester. It might be me, but the homeless seem standoffish or aggressive. I don’t know what it is, I’m usually pretty brazen, but I have been less inclined to talk to people that are homeless. I’m hoping to break this newfound shyness.
On my way back to my campsite I stopped at my little car and got some water from the gallon in the front seat. My car was still where I left it which means it hasn’t been towed and probably won’t be. I filled my water jug and I rode my bike for the graveyard back to my campsite.
I did some work on writing in the tent, at around 8:00 p.m. a thunderstorm rolled through. I knew it was coming because I always check the weather. I spoke with my girlfriend on the phone for a little while. I didn’t hear any of the cracking of branches from the dead tree. I believe the cracking happens at the large dead tree next to my camp. Around 11:00 p.m. I heard a large crack! This frightened me, Even though I feel like I figured out the physics of the cracking branches. I called my girlfriend and she calmed me down. I took a melatonin and I slept peacefully through the night. Like the Buddha who would meditate in graveyards, that actually kept the bodies above ground in those days, I contemplated death and my fear of the supernatural. How real is it, and if it is real can it affect me, and even if it could affect me in some way, does it even really matter. Knowing that Dark forces are just as present in the supernatural world as they are in the living world would mean confrontation is inevitable and it’s best to be addressed, instead of running away from it.