I woke up at my friend’s house around 8:00 a.m. I laid around most of the morning. I did write a message to my ex, since she had been sending me nasty messages, here it is:
Message to ex:
You are very mentally unwell. This is why you can never develop any human relationships of value. You are a lier, unfaithful, cruel, hateful, and manipulative. You say nasty and hateful things to people and expect them to sit there and take it. That is unreasonable. I left you that night because you were saying hateful things to me again. You need to be by yourself when you do that. No one should be subjected to that. We had actually discussed me leaving when you do that. It was the plan. That is a pattern of behavior for you. See, you are the problem. You threatened to be unfaithful, which you did because you are corrupted mentally. You have nobody because of your own actions and nobody else. You need to be alone so you can see how delusional and awful you can truly be. You can say whatever you want and think whatever you want but that doesn’t make it true. I have many strong and long lasting relationships for a reason. I truly love the good side of you, but the bad side has destroyed your life more times than you can probably count, and still you refuse to take accountability for that. You will continue to suffer a long string of broken relationships until you can finally accept that it is you who is the problem. As you said you’re getting older and as you age it will get harder to find people willing to accept being abused by you. I want you to do well for your little boy’s sake. He is a good little boy, who deserves a mother who can be there for him, love him, and raise him properly. You should be alone for a long time so you can fix what’s wrong in your mind. No Crystal can do that or spell or other hocus pocus. Although it might help to influence you in a positive way. You have to accept the rottenness inside of you, learn to forgive, and learn how to have love and respect for yourself and other people. I know this is possible, whether or not you do it is on you. As always I wish you well, and love the good side of you unconditionally. I love the rotten side of you too, but refuse to be around that. I hope you can reconcile your anger and your pain so you can be there for your little boy.
At noon I drove to Hogan Tire in Beverly to meet my friend Ed, who was having his Cadillac towed there. Hogan’s did an oil change on Ed’s Cadillac and messed it up somehow, and all the oil leaked out of Ed’s car. The plan was to let Ed use my little car until his Cadillac is fixed.
I picked up Ed and met my friend Chris at Modern Butcher in Danvers to have an Egg and Brisket Sandwich. This was a great time with friends. When we were finished eating and talking I drove Ed to my little car, and we did a test spin so he could get used to the stick shift. Ed was an experienced standard driver, and he went on his way.
I drove my truck to my aunt’s house in central Mass. We had dinner and then my uncle drove us to the airport. We hung out at the departure gate for about 2 hours, and then boarded the plane for the 5 hour flight. It was Jet blue, we had the cheapest tickets so we could only bring a small carry on to go under the seat. I took my tooth brush, deodorant, my cell phones, chargers, and wallet and that was all. It is only a 3 day trip to coordinate care for my father and spend time with him.
I slept on the plane.