I woke up at my buddies house. I’m still feeling the strangeness of being away from a relationship I’d gotten quite comfortable with.
I laid around in the morning and I did some writing and I scrolled around on social media.
At 10:00 a.m. I drove to McDonald’s and ate a McChicken and a McFish sandwich. You get the two sandwiches for six bucks. I should eat healthier but I’m always on the go. Plus fast food and fatty foods make me feel better.
I was at my mom’s around 11:00 a.m. It’s good to spend some time with my mom, the dog Charlie, and even the cat Weezy. I spent a good period of the afternoon there.
I left my mom’s around 5:00 p.m. and I went back to my buddy’s house. He let me use his clippers and I shaved off my beard. I was just sick of it, the mustache was growing onto my lips. I was getting sick of trimming it down and I didn’t like the way it looked because shaving the mustache and nothing else gave my beard an under nose bowl cut look. Having hair on my face would have me touching the beard constantly like a nervous tick. I struggle with anxiety and nervousness and having things to do consistently becomes habitual.
After I shaved my beard, I showered, and did some laundry at my friend’s house. And then I headed back out to my tent and did a video for like a minute. After I went to bed
During the week although I have time to go to Planet Fitness and take showers, I don’t do that. It’s still cold out, and I lose motivation and I get depressed.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed at work with all the problems that people in the streets face that are living in the street. I can understand when people are completely homeless and destitute how it feels as if the world is pressing against you and you have very little options. I can see the freedom on one side but the depression and self deprecation on the other. We are so impacted by our environments and what we see around us. When you’re homeless in a tent with nothing, what you see is a world of people driving around in cars and living at homes. A better life can seem unattainable. It’s no wonder people will search for any instant gratification, something to make them feel good. Or become despondent and just accept their situation.