Around 6:30 a.m. I wake up. Today is handball day. I figured that we would be playing at LA fitness, indoor floor wall. A depression has crept up on me. I have no motivation to leave the tent. I especially don’t want to go to a packed gym with people all around. I lay awake for a while, and then I fall asleep and have a series of strange dreams. The dreams are filled with anxiety of living outside, and trying to find ways to isolate myself more to protect me from society.
8:00 a.m. I wake up again. I have no motivation to leave the tent so I message my friend Patrick and tell him I’m not coming to handball. I decide to look at my messages on my phone, and when I look at the handball group chat I see that we will be playing outside in Lynn today. This excites me, I love being by the beach and I love playing outside. I pull myself out of my funk, I pack up my gear, and I head out to the court in Lynn.
9:00 a.m. As I’m driving to the handball court I am able to take a look at the problem that is troubling me and causing my depression. I realize that the problems I see in society are connected to a state of mind. When I look at nature, I see balance, things function in Concordance with each other. Equanimity is the driving force of synchronicity in nature, and humanity is out of balance. Our minds are set on overdrive, we chase after things that destroy nature, and cause us to fall deeper and deeper into sickness and disparity. I recognize that mental and natural health is built out of equanimity and having a mind state that sees all things as equal. We are not separate from anything else in nature, down to the simple atomic processes that form every vision and experience in our mind. When we think things are different, that things are good or bad, that we are better than others, more powerful than other creatures, when we hate, are greedy, and constantly chase after having more and more things to make us feel good, yet we’re not happy with what we have, we set in motion an imbalance that spreads out like wildfire corrupting the very environment where we exist. Humanity is dancing on thin ice. Nature is Paramount and Keen at restoring balance. It is not man against nature, we are nature, and at any given point the natural resetting of balance could come from outside of us, or it could come from within us. Who knows when it will happen, but the natural scales of this planet will shift towards equilibrium when things get out of whack. I guess the choices are either humanity as a whole takes up a mind of equanimity and works towards balance with nature, or nature just naturally evens the scales herself.
The message is, to have stability and health in life, is to develop a mindset of equanimity.
9:30 a.m. I arrived at handball, and get some videos with friends. We play a bunch of games. Pat and Mike are the champions of the day.
1:00 p.m. I drive over to Tacos lupita’s, and I get myself a chorizo con huevo burrito. When I’m done eating I head over to my friend’s house where I take a shower and get ready for a date.
6:00 p.m. I’ve been texting back and forth with my date for the night. She drives down to my friend’s house. She’s brought supplies for the night. I let her know that our options are either we can stay at my friend’s place, or we could stay in my tent. We have dinner at China Jade in Peabody. We get Veggie lo mein, and aromatic shrimp. The dinner is good, and my date concedes to sleeping in my tent with me. We drive back to her car to get the rest of her gear. Which in my opinion is more than I feel is necessary.
8:00 p.m. We drove to the location of my camp and parked my truck. We walk through the streets until we reach the entrance to the forest. I tell my date to stay close behind me as she shuffles her way through the forest following me. At one point I was helping her down a granite boulder, and I myself slipped and fell on my butt. As we travel I explain to her how to use trees and branches to stabilize herself while we go down steep inclines. It takes us about 20 minutes to reach the camp. It’s not that cold and it’s raining slightly. Once we reach the tent we settle in. We have some Reese’s pieces cups and little Snickers bars. This is the first time that I have had a guest in my camp. All in all it went well and we had a wonderful time.