8:00 a.m. I woke up. My girlfriend was extremely sick throughout the night. She decides that she’s going to call out of work sick for the day.
9:00 a.m. I spent the whole day with my girlfriend. I worked on writing blogs, uploading some videos. I also did some apartment searches. My girlfriend has to move out of her apartment to a place that is affordable for her. She has to be out of her apartment by February 17th. This has been a very stressful time for me. I picked up a job, my girlfriend is in peril and will be homeless if she doesn’t find a place, I have a ton of responsibilities with this project, and I’m homeless so I’m like a leaf on the wind. My decision making thought process seems to always push me towards making sure that those I care about most are okay. There’s a default in my mind that tells me no matter what, I will find a way for myself. I have to admit it seems easier when you only have to think about yourself, and providing for your own needs. I cannot even begin to list off how many people have lied to me, betrayed me, abandoned me, disrespected me, challenged me, and purposely worked towards hurting me in some way. I’ve met quite a few homeless people that have given up on connecting with others for these types of reasons. In Nick’s conversations with me, it seemed that he was at that point. I will never give up on loving and connecting with people because although I listed the negative things I could never list off all the people that have helped me, made me laugh, givin me support, kept me company when I felt like I was alone, educated me on endless topics, defended me, helped me succeed, visited me in prison, gave me a place to stay, helped me think through tough situations, lifted me up when I was down, fed me when I was hungry, loved me when I couldn’t even love myself, and gave me hope when I was hopeless.
5:00 p.m. This is a complete down day. With my girlfriend being sick, and the potential of me getting really sick, My girlfriend and I spent the day resting. I wish there was more to share but this is all I got.