I woke up with my girlfriend’s apartment around 7:30 a.m. I feel defeated. I have become deeply empathetic for the struggle of the people I have set out to investigate. I’ve seen and experienced so many of their struggles, and regardless of the bad choices they’ve made they are human. It was never my intention to exploit anybody. The problem is overwhelming and it falls on too many blind eyes and deaf ears. I firmly believe that even a lot of the people who are responsible for finding solutions for this problem are grossly uninformed.
I have also learned that this experience has been an unraveling of my own struggles and inequities. I am not a selfish person, I find it difficult to do things solely for myself. I will do the things that I need for security, basic comfort, and self-respect. Beyond that I struggle to want more. I am happy with friends, a vehicle to get around, a place to live, a partner, and work to do what I believe in.
The inception of this project came about because of all the suffering, corruption, and waste I saw in the addiction service and social service industries. I felt terrible that the increasing problems falls on the financial backs of the hardworking American public.
I realize now that the completion of this work, which will culminate in a book in concordance with the blog, and the YouTube videos will be my contribution to the problem at hand.
What I’ve learned thus far is, “Life is better when it is simple.” More is the problem. This is a societal disease, and all the suffering that you see in the streets is a result of people constantly wanting more. More is never enough. I’ve learned that I can construct my life simply and have enough and never want for more.
Spent the rest of the day at my girlfriend’s apartment working on writing. When she got home we spent the rest of the evening together. I’ve been happy in our relationship. She hasn’t been attacking me for past slights, yelling at me, or degrading me in any way. At this point I’m starting to think that the future might be with us living together in a bigger place when I’m done with this project.
More than a quarter of Massachusetts residents are on MassHealth
15% of Massachusetts residents receive food stamps