When my girlfriend left for work at 9:00 a.m. I drove my little car to Fitchburg. I drove because taking the train would have been a very long ordeal. I would have had to switch trains at North Station and it would have taken me more than 2 hours. It was only about a 40 minute drive.
I had scouted a few places on maps, and when I arrived in Fitchburg I chose the crocker reservation near the Overlook reservoir to set up my camp. One thing I noticed right away about Fitchburg was that there were a lot of really steep hills. I chose a spot off the main trail near the reservoir in the woods to set up camp.
Once my camp was set up, I decided to take my bike down to the main town area.I rode my bike down an insanely steep hill, the road literally goes from the reservoir right through town, past the recovery center and the whole metropolitan area. This is a small town in the woods of northwestern Massachusetts. I remember 20 years ago that Fitchburg was highly impacted by the opioid epidemic, which was perpetrated by the pharmaceutical companies over prescribing drugs like oxycodone and oxycontin. I’m not sure how much residuals are left over from that. It seems like a fairly quiet and subdued Massachusetts town from what I saw driving through. Hopefully I will learn more when I go to our father’s table Tuesday night meal.
After riding through town and eating at paupers table, a local sandwich shop. The food was delicious by the way.
I visited the recovery center where I engaged with the woman at the desk who seemed nice enough. I drove to the Dollar tree where I purchased bug spray, Fritos, and a monster energy drink. I stopped by the liquor store and I bought peach flavored light bush 22 oz can and an angry orchard 22 oz can. The ride back up the hill, which was also a lot of walking the bike, was intense. It was 91° and I was drenched with sweat by the time I returned to my campsite.
My combination lock that I wrapped around my bike seat got stuck somehow and I was unable to fix it. I drank the peach Busch light can. It Didn’t take me long since I was so thirsty. Due to the heat my metabolism must have been running extremely fast. I burned through the alcohol so quickly I did not even feel the mildest of effects. I will not drink to intoxication. But I do find that a beer or cider calms the nerves a bit. I didn’t do any work really. I just hung out in the tent and absorbed the Aura of the forest. Once it got dark I covered the tent with the rain fly. The idea of sleeping and being visible to an outside intruder at night through the tent’s netting frightens me. I had taken the rain fly off during the day so that I could stare at the trees through the netting. It became incredibly dark out here.
I began to grow paranoid as I do in the woods alone at night. I fear coyotes, although I know they would probably never tread too close to my tent. Especially since I urinate around my campsite. I began to worry about bears. There are a good number of black bears in the forests of Massachusetts. I looked it up online and found out that larger concentrations of black bears live in the central and western part of the state. I began to wonder if bears would be equally afraid of human urine marking as coyotes would be. I figured they’re probably more adventurous and curious. I don’t think that I would stand much of a chance in a one-on-one fight with a full grown male or female black bear. I do have two knives and pepper spray. I thought to myself that even if I were to spray a bear in the eyes with pepper spray, it might not incapacitate them from attacking and ultimately tearing me to shreds.
A Bear doesn’t need their eyes to effectively attack, their noses are comparable to that of canines. A bear could literally sniff and destroy. I thought of other weapons at my disposal. I have bug spray, I have bug spray for clothing, and I also have my shoe deodorizer. I realize that if a bear were to attack me in my tent It would probably be the aerosol sprays that would frighten them off, coupled with loud noises and making myself appear larger than I am by flailing my arms and yelling. Ultimately I doubt a bear would attack my camp, but the idea made me want to be prepared.
While I was pondering in my tent My experiences of traveling and living outside, I began to think about the mental health crisis in America. I’ve come to frame the current state of addiction, mental health, and homelessness as an overarching mental health crisis. To survive in America and live within our social systems people must either bring in an income, be supported by friends or family or live solely off social supports like housing, food stamps, social security, or other social service programs. The preferred option is to work and use an earned wage to pay for housing, food, and other amenities. Ultimately, having a home, a vehicle, and other luxuries are amenities. I have learned that human beings can survive by living in a tent throughout the year as long as their basic needs are met. This type of lifestyle does not support the free market system of our country. If too many people become dependent on taxpayer dollars as well as other charitable resources It will begin to put a strain on our economy. Those who cannot work suffer from either mental or physical disability. Considering that mental illness is a growing problem in our society, I believe it is most important to address the causes of mental instability that continues to proliferate in our country.
I put this post out on Facebook. I want to highlight the impact the mental health crisis in America is having on our economy:
(Because the rates of mental illness have been growing, along with the influence from Big Pharma, there are nearly 80 million Americans who are currently on psychiatric drugs:
This is an age where psych diagnoses and prescription psych meds are handed out like candy, where did the trend start?
Some may say it goes all the way back to the thorazine revolution that cleared out the asylums. I beg to differ. Most Americans are not psychotic. Perhaps thorazine set the stage, but I believe the playwright is much more sinister.
Today suffering, pain, hardship, loss, failure, embarrassment, distress, depression, anxiety…. are considered problematic and separate from human health and happiness. In this fast moving Internet age, fueled by commercialism and hyper me-ism, we are brought to think that our problems are solved by eternal means (we should always feel good, and good feelings come from outside ourselves). We forget the million, or so, year old tool box that sleeps in our genes, that awakens our innate abilities to flourish and become smarter, emotionally resilient, and physically stronger from experiencing adverse or challenging stimuli, which are unavoidable consequences of life.
Instead of Americans seeking out old-timers for wisdom or reaching inside ourselves, people feel the onslaught of hard emotions or physical pain and they look outside themselves for relief:
“Doctor I am depressed can you help me?”
“Doctor I have anxiety can you fix this?”
“Doctor I can’t tolerate these feelings make them go away!”
On the flip side illicit narcotic users are working to enhance their experience, self-medicate, or both. Dependencies can and will arise.
I’m not judging anyone for trying to find solutions to their problems. It is what we all naturally do with the information and resources most readily available to us. 8
Therein lies the problem. The whole medical system is in on the scam. Big Pharma and a bottom-line driven healthcare industry has collectively conspired to fleece at least 1/3 of the American population. It’s a top down approach, and the practitioners in the middle and the bottom are convinced they’re doing what’s right, because the ones at the top tell them they’re doing a bang-up job. 8
For anyone who hasn’t tried it, I challenge you to lean into the hardness of life. Embrace pain, suffering, struggle, embarrassment, loss, failure, and whatever else sux…. It is your lot in life and can not be avoided.
Who am I to say this, well I’ve had my battles, I’ve learned to embrace suffering as much as I do pleasure. It was not an easy road, but I have won my freedom from chemical dependence. I am not saying I’m not a consumer who isn’t dependent on our free market system, because I am. You have to be in this society to survive for the most part. Yet in a short period of time I’ve managed to earn financial freedom and creative freedom over my life, which speaks to my ability to adapt, moderate, conserve, and make wise decisions. Many of those decisions have been very difficult and arduously thought out. I also make sure my life doesn’t get easier. I’m sitting in a tent alone in a large forest, surrounded by darkness, as I write this wondering if a pack of Coyotes or some horrific forest ghost will assail me in the night.
Just remember a product-maker or service-maker’s wet dream is consumer dependence on what they’re sellin. The most successful businesses are those whose customers continue coming back for more.)
It was nearly midnight when I was done expressing my thoughts to the world. Although I was feeling scared and vulnerable I took a melatonin, and was soon fast asleep.